


How The X Stole Christmas

by UmbraHog



Category: Bayonetta (Video Games), Coraline (2009), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbraHog/pseuds/UmbraHog
Summary: Fed up with the whole Christmas season, X takes it upon himself to steal it all and destroy it, but he then gets an epithany from someone he never expected to give him one.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	1. An Awful Idea

It was December 21st in a plane of reality far beyond human comprehension, there was one demon who was feeling all kinds of tension. As every last living being celebrated the upcoming Christmas with excitement and cheer, the dread virus X felt nothing but hatred and fear. As they all continued to sing, X couldn’t help but feel a sting, before declaring: “I MUST stop this WHOLE thing!”

Back in his lair, X couldn’t help but give his wife and noblemen a constant glare. “Why, for fifteen years I’ve put up with it and received NOTHING… Now, I MUST STOP THIS CHRISTMAS FROM COMING!” X grumbled as he planted his head onto his pipe organ, and continued to dread what came ahead. His wife Esther couldn’t help but feel sad, as she didn’t like to see X being mad.

Then he got an idea… An awful idea… X got a wonderfully AWFUL idea. X got up and hissed; “I know JUST what to do.” He turned around and said to the four people he trusted; “I’ll make sure that by the 25th’s dawn, their beloved Christmas will be GONE!” Not soon after, X began to play his organ with a twsited grin as his greatest misdeed was about to begin.

“All the trimmings, all the trappings, every last gift and garland, in addition to ALL the ribbons, tags, packages, boxes and bags!” X said as he began to lose his dread. “I’ll turn this holiday into every last kind-hearted individual’s hell, because when they wake and see that it’s gone, then ALL their joy and happiness will be gone as well!”

X then turned around to face Esther, W, Y & Z with his signature grin as he said; “And so we’ll prepare ourselves for a holiday of sin! Because tomorrow, WE WILL BEGIN!” Immediately after, a storm began to enshroud as he laughed like a twisted murderer out loud.


	2. Stealing Christmas

It was December 24th, and the holiday cheer filled everyone’s head, but little did they know of the crime that X had planned ahead. X had his complete plan laid out, from his creations and gift-stealing techniques to his designated route shown inside and out. As X looked at everything he made for his awful cause, he quickly decided to make his noblemen into his reindeer and promote Esther to Mrs. Claus just because.

As they stared at X with confused looks, X stated; “Have ANY of you read those cheesy Christmas books!?” He looked around before he added; “Now, let’s do some stitching before we get to our snitching.” X took some fabric and dyed it with blood from his moat before cutting it into a Santa Claus hat and coat.

As X put on his clothes, his twisted excitement quickly rose. As he put on his cleated Santa boots, X then began to make everyone else’s suits. He found some antlers and all kinds of threads, and he then tied them to his noblemen’s heads. X then showed Esther his handmade dress, and she admittedly thought all of this prep was a bit too excess.

It was now Christmas Eve, there was joy and excitement in the air, for in just a few hours, Santa Claus would be there. The gifts would be left with the stockings all filled, and the anticipation… well, it started to build. X was ready to start his big trip, and he stood like a captain aboard a great ship. Yes, the time had now come to take off like a shot, and X said; “Here we go, my loyal noblemen, let’s show me what you got!” W, Y and Z began to run before they slowed down, which caused X to frown. “Why are you stopping!? It’s time to GO!” X shouted before Z said back; “My lord, there’s too much thick snow, and you once told us we were too slow!”

“Well you better start moving ahead, or I’ll rip off your heads!” X said as he pounded on his sleigh, for he didn’t want there to be a delay.Then the sleigh started to move, as his noblemen ran in a rhythmic groove. “AW YEAH, NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!” X said without a shadow of a doubt. Soon the sleigh began to lift as X opened up a dimensional rift. And then X arrived at the planet of Mobius on his great fated ride, ready to invade the planet’s homes and steal the Christmas that waited inside.

Yes, X had planned it all, with every detail big and small. He’d get rid of Christmas once and for ALL. “You take on the outside, while I take on the inside. But you better keep up the pace, because I KNOW who lives in this place.” X said to Esther, W, Y & Z before he went up to the chimney. “The residence of the Blue Blur is House Number One. When Sonic wakes up and sees what I’ve done, then he can’t stop me because I’VE ALREADY WON.” X said as he jumped into the chimney and landed in the Hedgehog’s living room, knowing just how exactly to bring in gloom.

He was ready to pounce and set the score right. He’d make up for the past, and he’d do it TONIGHT. “Alrighty, let’s STEAL Christmas.” X stated as he was ready to ruin the holiday he hated. He swept up everyone’s presents with the speed of a wiz, and he descended into madness as he caused sadness, but only theirs now, not his. Along with all of the presents, X took the tree and launched it with glee. And the last thing he took was the logs for their fires, and left nothing but hooks and wires. And the one speck of food he left in each house was a crumb, that was even too small for a mouse.

As X filled each house with dread, Esther and the noblemen loaded up the sled. “All of this excess and nonsense…” X said to himself, “It’s all about GREED, and meaningless stuff that they don’t even need!” X went to work as he scooped up the toys, he raced againt time along with joy. X hit a few snags as he made his way, casting sleep spells on pets and encountering a sleep-walking Pokémon Champion named May. X took a slight deviation from the path during his trip to find something he wanted to keep for sure: A black Carbon fiber PS5 that could play the complete libraries from all of Playstation’s previous iterations, from 1 to 4. “I’ll be keeping THIS until I’m dead!” X said as he opened a portal to put the console in his game room before he wrote a letter that said; “Dear Mr. Kenichiro Yoshida & Jim Ryan, I have stolen this piece of valuable hardware simply because YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR FANS A LOT MORE OFTEN THAN YOU DID BEFORE.”

He stole popguns and bicycles, roller skates and drums, checkerboards, tricycles, popcorn and plums! Gadgets and Gizmos and things with strange names, colorful socks, LEGO blocks and video games! X’s mayhem continued to grow as he took down the decorations of the houses on every row. He swiped and he poached, yes the stealing was on, and this day that he hated, he made sure it was GONE. As he continued this holiday stealing he was bent on, his final stop happened to be a pink house found in Portland, Oregon.

“This is it, everyone! The last house. Apparently a man who lives here is trying to make a circus, and I’ll take EVERY LAST MOUSE.” X said as he approached the supposed palace with a smile of malice. Esther couldn’t help but feel déjà vu, as she knew who part of this house belonged to. “Dashing through the snow, in a three-minion open sleigh, one more house to go and Christmas goes away!” X sang as he jumped into the chimney and landed in a large foyer. X took the tree and started to put it up the chimney, but he then spotted a plate of cookies which he swore looked like scones. He accidentally tripped and cased the plate to break, which put someone awake, who happened to be a girl named Coraline Jones.

“Hello? Who’s there?” The girl said as X was in a scare. She went down the stairs to look for the sound’s cause, and saw someone who resembled Santa Claus. “Santa? What are you doing here tonight?” Coraline said as she shined a light. X stammered for a bit as he tried to fix the plate a little bit. “Aw, you broke my favorite christmas plate.” Coraline said as she saw the broken china on the floor. X replied with his most convincing Santa voice; “D-don’t worry, I can make more.”

“Are you okay?” Coraline said as she guided X to a chair to lay. “I-I’m fine.” X said as he faked looking fine. “I can’t believe it’s really you, Saint Nick, and here I thought you were just a parlor trick.” Coraline said as she unintentionally spoke in a rhyme. X replied; “Thanks, I get that all the time.” The girl’s eyes had some glee before she turned around and saw the tree. “Uh, what are you doing with our tree?” She asked with confusion in her sights. X replied with; “Well, I’m taking it to the workshop to fix some of the lights.”

“I didn’t know you could do that. But it does make sense, Mom and Dad use the same lights for all the yearly events.” Coraline replied. X then said; ”Well, why don’t you go back up to bed? When you wake up, the tree will be there and with all the presents inside.” “Well, that’s not what I wanted since you’re here.” Coraline said before X replied; “Of course you do, people want them every year!”

“I REALLY don’t want presents, I have something I want to say.” Coraline said as she looked at X. “Go on…” X said, slightly upset with the delay. “I wanted to talk to you because I want you to help my parents feel better.” Coraline said before X replied; “Well, why don’t you write them a letter?” “My parents work hard every day with little time to relax and play, and I just want them to feel relieved on Christmas day.” Coraline said as she gave X a solemn, yet sad look in the eyes. X then felt a bit of sadness through his disguise. “You want me to make them happy?” X said, feeling a bit sappy.

“You’re Santa, you make EVERYONE full of joy and cheer, and I just want to have some of it here.” Coraline said as she offered a cookie to X, whose eyes looked queer. “I-I guess you’re right. You’ve said so many things to me tonight, that I think I should set them right.” He added as he helped Coraline back to bed. “I wanna say one last thing; I hope that you can join us someday and sing. It’s so beautiful, that if you close your eyes and listen, you’ll instantly feel better about everything.” Coraline said as she gave X a paper ring. “That sounds nice…” X said with some genuine happiness in his voice. “Thank you, Santa.” Coraline said as she headed back to her room for the night. X could only let out a quaint “Good night.”

X finished up his misdeeds and exited the house, holding every last jumping mouse. “I just met the nicest little girl tonight…” X said as he looked up at the sky, which was still night. “Let’s get going. We’ve got more evil to do.” He then added before the sunlight grew.


	3. The True Meaning of Christmas

When everyone woke up, their heads felt unsteady, and their hearts were just sick. It must be a joke, or a prank, or an evil trick. Who would do such a thing? Who would stoop down so low? Then one girl realized that she might know. X had returned to his lair with the load he stole with the intention to break everyone’s souls. “Where’s the presents and decorations?” Coraline’s mother Mel asked, who was completely aghast. “I caused this… I talked to Santa last night because I wanted to make you and dad feel better, but I made everything amiss.” Coraline said as she drooped her head. “Don’t be rough, he didn’t take away Christmas, he just took away stuff.” Mel said as she looked at her daughter with a sincere look in her eyes as she said; “And I already have the greatest gift I could ever ask for: a family to share love with, through all the lows and highs.”

Meanwhile, Sonic was able to call up his friends, from Tails and Knuckles, to everyone else including Bayonetta and Jeanne before the hedgehog said; “I’m sure we all know what’s going on.” They all exchanged glares at each other before Tails said; “Wait, we don’t need to give violence to X as a lesson to teach, I think we can change him with a certain someone and the right speech instead!” Sonic then said; “Change of plans everyone, we’re going to the North Pole! We don’t have much time, so let’s roll!”

X reached the top of his lair with all the things he had taken away, as he knew just how to end Christmas in his own twisted way. “And now, the grand finale of my evil plan for the holidays, every single person will watch me as I SET THEIR CHRISTMAS ABLAZE!!” X said before he laughed with a twisted grin, not noticing a blue wind. X had pulled out a fireball as he changed all the skies so that everyone could watch him burn it all. X was ready to deface Christmas before he got a swift kick to the face. X landed on the ground and looked up to see Sonic and the others circling him and his minions around.

“Sonic? BUT HOW!?” X said, looking for answers right now. “If you hoped to see us depressed, give it a rest!” Sonic said as he picked X off the ground and made him look around. “This is the part where we’d normally beat you, but instead, I think someone wants to meet you.” Bayonetta said as the circle opened to reveal a weird man with a familiar looking beard. X looked up with disbelief before he said; “Santa Claus!? But I thought you were supposed to be fat!” “I’d tell them all, but the media’s more used to me looking like that.” Santa replied with a more straight-talkative voice than X had expected.

“Sonic told me about what you’ve did to wind up on my Naughty List, and so I’m here to make your revenge cease to exist.” Santa said as he moved closer to X with a bag on his back. X then shouted; “Don’t come near, or I’ll attack!” Santa was unphased by X’s threat as he came closer and kneeled down to him and looked set. “X, the reason why Christmas makes you so miffed, is because you never knew the joy of opening a gift.” Santa said as X began to feel less dread.

“Your wife wanted to give this to you years ago, but she never did due to your constant sorrow.” Santa said as he handed X something that was wrapped, which X thought was a trap. He looked at Esther with confusion in his eyes, only for him to realize that this wasn’t a pack of lies. He opened up the gift expecting a pile of coal, but he instead saw something that touched his soul. It felt like staring into a reflection that gave back affection. It was a doll that looked like a splitting image of X, complete with scuffmarks, blackened blood and all.

X didn’t know what to feel or what to say, as he looked at everyone on this day. And without even trying, X started crying. Doing his best to see, X looked at Esther and said; “You made this… for me?” “I did, but I assumed it was something that you never wanted, so I hid it.” Esther replied as she walked over to X and gave him a hug, which made him start to cry more than he tried to hide.

Then everyone’s ears started ringing as they began to hear singing. It started low, then it began to grow. X had suddenly remembered what Coraline had told him last night, and his heart started to melt, as he thought that if he did what she did to cheer up, maybe he’d felt what she felt. X then closed his eyes as the sound reached the skies, and X heard it with his digital heart, which tripled in size.

X opened his eyes and looked around as he felt sound. He then looked at Santa and said; “Saint Nick, is there any way you can undo my evil trick?” “Of course I can, but you’ll all have to leave the presents be, as I can’t let everyone watch me.” Santa replied before he snapped his fingers and created a flash, and then time seemed to quickly dash. And not soon after, everything was back in its place, as if X never went after the holiday in the first case.

A few hours after everything had settled, X still felt unsettled. He was still in shock that he had recieved his first ever gift in his life, and it was from his loving wife. X then heard a knock at the door, and he thought; “What more!?” He opened the door and had a brief fright, as he saw the girl he met last night. “Uh… Hi?” X said, unsure what to say. Coraline said; “Hi, how are you doing today?” “I-I’m doing fine, thanks for asking.” X replied with his fear unmasking. “The name’s Coraline. Coraline Jones.” The girl said. “C-Caroline?” X said, having some dread. “COR-aline.” She replied, tilting her head. “Well, I have a few names, but I prefer to be called X.” The demon said. “Nice to meet you, X.” Coraline said as she reached out her hand for X to shake. X took the guesture and shook back before he heard; “My lord, is someone bothering you?”

Z then walked up to the front door and saw Coraline with some confusion in his eyes. “Am I interrupting something?” He said before X said, “No not really, it’s nothing.” “Close the door, you’re letting all the cold air come in! Y said as he stormed over before looking at Coraline in a bit of disgust before he took some time to adjust. Not soon after, W came over, who had looked a bit hung over. Then Esther arrived and looked at Coraline straight on with some dismay, unsure of what to do or say.

“This is getting pretty weird, so can you tell us why you’re here?” X said as he shook an ear. “Well, I came here because I wanted to invite you to my place for dinner.” Coraline replied as she felt the air get a bit thinner. “Y-You want me to come over to your place? But I nearly set your gifts ablaze!” X said, who looked out of place. “Yep, I know.” Coraline replied, her eyes looking aglow. “And if I hadn’t put up my act last night, You would have been KILLED!” X said before Coraline replied; “Yeah I know, in the past, your wife also tried to get me killed.” Esther then blushed in embarrasment before X said; “I don’t know what to say.” with his mind blown. “For too long, you’ve been alone.” Coraline said before she tried to leaven the conversation by saying; “I’ll see you around, Dinner’s at 7!” Before she was gone and X looked on.

Later that night, X was outside the Pink Palace and his head was filled with fright. “What if everyone hates me and wants me dead?” He thought before saying: “Just ring the bell, it’s all in your head!” X then pressed the button and his fear began to swell. The door then opened, revealing Mel. “Oh, Mr. X, welcome! I’m glad you decided to come!” She said as she let X and the others inside. “Hey, X. Happy holidays!” Said a voice that caught X off guard, revealing to be Sonic, which made X look jarred. “W-Why are you here?” X said before Sonic replied: “I was invited here, and I’m not gonna jeer.”

X wasn’t used to being so tame before he heard; “X, I’m so glad you came!” Said a voice behind him, which belonged to Coraline, who then added; “Let me show you around, you’ll be fine!” X looked around before he spotted something that sparked him to say: “Is that a Menorah, and why is it electric?” Coraline looked at where X was talking about and said; “Oh yeah, my dad’s family is Jewish, and when it comes to Hannukah, he’s very eccentric.”

“Alright, come take your seats, everyone! Dinner’s ready!” Mel said as everyone went to their seats while X felt a bit unsteady. Coraline then said; “C’mon, you can sit with me if you’d like!” That’d be nice.” X said belike. X looked around and saw everyone seated, worried about how he’d be treated. When X sat down, he was unsure of what to say or do until he saw Mel coming through. “X, would you like to do the honors and make the first cut?” She said, handing X a knife, which gave him a strange feeling in his gut. “C-Can I say something first?” X said, expecting the worst. “Of course, the food can wait.” Mel said as she held on to a plate.

“W-Well everyone, I just wanted to say that I spent my entire life hating Christmas and EVERYTHING about it. And the reason why I took it away was because I thought it’d get rid of a feeling I had way back in the day. And after picking up a cookie that I SWEAR looked like a scone, I realized that it was the fact that I hated being alone. But now, I’m not alone anymore, because I have all of you to thank for it, especially this little girl named Coraline, who changed my views forevermore.” X said as he looked at everybody, feeling a spark of happiness in his body. Then X raised a glass and let everyone in a toast. “To kindness and love, the things we need the most!” X said as everyone cheered before he began to carve the turkey roast.

And from that day since, X looked forward to the Christmas season every year, even though for the rest of it, he had his goals of domination clear. The next day, X recieved a letter from Santa, which let X know that his life was going to be better.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a 3-Drabble story that I’ll post for the next three days, and I definitely had a lot of fun writing it! The nicknames W, Y and Z are names I came up for the EXE versions of Tails, Knuckles and Robotnik to go along with Sonic.exe, who is nowadays called X. Esther came from The Jones Imposter, which I liked too much to not use.


End file.
